Planning and coordinating during Christmas can be stressful. And those annoying individuals who make shopping and hosting seem effortless, must just love the chaos. Whatever. Good for them. I wasn’t feeling inferior. ANYWAY. Join me as I reflect on the feelings this time of year can stir up, and a recipe for a refreshing, drinkable escape.
This year, I am VERY in the spirit. I’m not sure who or what I have become. I decorated two days after Thanksgiving (I never do this), I’m constantly listening to Christmas music, binging cheesy Holiday films, pre-planning outfits, researching DIY gifts, and I almost cried when I realized I missed John Legend and Chrissy Teigen's Christmas special on NBC. Oh don’t worry… I have Hulu so it was there waiting for me.
I began to analyze why this year feels so different.
I still have no savings account and am permanently bloated, so why am I bouncing around my shabby rental house like an intoxicated elf? The conclusion: I am in love. Now before you grab your barf bag, let me explain…
Growing up, Christmas was confusing. I didn’t listen in Church. All I cared about was if I my Dad remembered to get me The OC Season 1 (the only Season worth rewatching) DVD set and that one Abercrombie sweatshirt. My Mom was always crying, missing her Mother and going down memory lane (acceptable, yet still confusing to an adolescent). As I grew older, presents felt lamer and I often found myself feeling “empty”. Not physically empty, obviously was still over eating, but emotionally. During the Holidays reality stops (no school, no work) and yet I am left feeling vapid and anxious. I fight it because I think I should be feeling warm and fuzzy. Bla bla bla eat shit.
You know those people who claim to hate Holidays? We roll our eyes at those people, but honestly, I don’t blame them. Holidays can remind one of their loneliness. You know, four years ago I didn’t go home for Christmas? I literally spent Christmas Day alone. Umm WTF? Looking back I’m sure my Father was devastated. It was such a selfish move. I pretended to not care about the Holidays. They felt unexciting and overrated. Looking back, I think I wanted to avoid how lonely I was feeling. I didn’t want to explain how unsuccessful my acting career was going, I was single, and another year in the hoarder office pull out couch sounded awful. This year I would sleep on the floor if it meant one of Dads meals or a hug from my Mom. The point I think I am attempting to make is; the Holidays will enhance one’s current state of being. For better, or worse. If one is feeling joy, they bring one immense joy. If one is feeling low, they make one want to pick up seasonal janitorial work and change their name. It sucks.
PSA: HOLIDAYS INVOLVE ALCOHOL. No judgement and guilty as charged.
That being said, I present to you Clausmopolitan Punch. A party favorite.
What You will need:
1 bottle Cranberry Juice
1 cup Lime Juice
1 Cup Cointreau or Gran Marnier
4 cups Vodka
1 bottle Prosecco or other Sparkling Wine
Make sure all ingredients are chilled before mixing! YUMMM!
This year if you are not in the spirit or you are feeling the blues, I want you to PLEASE know that you are loved. I love you. Your Mother loves you. If she doesn’t, then your dog loves you. If you don’t have a dog, then whatever device you are reading this half-ass blog on loves you. YOU GIVE YOUR DEVICE LIFE. See what I’m doing here? I encourage you to reach out to other Holiday Haters and make some dreadful plans. Or do something nice for yourself. TREAT YOURSELF. TREAT SOMEONE ELSE. It’ll be worth it… I promise.
Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Happy Birthday Jesus.