Roomie makes bacon and eggs for breakfast. Why does bacon smell so good? I mean seriously. I almost backed out then and there. Because, well…. It's BACON.
I am then offered mentioned above bacon, and I politely decline, but not without a fuss.
Why am I upset? I tell myself… "Hey, you chose this".
My attitude immediately transforms. Yes, I did choose this.
Today, I chose to press my body’s reset button.
After drinking my first juice named “Wake Up”, I began to fantasize about some type of carbohydrate smothered in cheese. You know the kind one eats the morning after having one glass of wine too many? (It’s Saturday btw.) I panicked. Am I going to be able to do this after all? So, I took a moment to tell my brain to stop thinking about all the foods I could be eating and to focus on cleansing and why it is important to me.
Pressing on (ha), I turned down an invite to the hibachi grill and avoided the pantry where my feet are usually planted.
I shared news of cleansing and made jokes to those I ran into during my day.
Vicious jokes like, “I want a cookie! Well too bad!” (Insert malicious laugh track).
My sister asks:
Aside from the jokes, I decided that I CAN be comfortable.
I’ve always liked the idea of being super-healthy and fit. But I have never truly committed. Committing takes focus. It takes stepping outside of your comfort zone. YIKES. It takes discipline. IT’S SCARY.
I am realizing that I am afraid.
WOW. That feels good to put out into the universe. I’m a giant chicken. We’ll revisit this later.
Cut to evening: While driving, I kept thinking I was seeing people in the middle of the street. Incorrect. Things just felt hazy. I felt like I was in the movie “The Village” and that my drive in a familiar neighborhood was being messed with. Ughh that movie is terrible. But that’s how I felt.
Am I being tricked? No, your body just isn’t used to this much goooood shit in it.
I woke up this morning feeling skinny AF. I’ll allow it.
No Headache, however, in the late afternoon I started to fade. Once my day slowed down, I imagined about the amount of snack stadiums I will be missing out on over the weekend. Basically, when you are cleansing, kiss your social life bye bye. At least for me, because I have a hard time resisting temptation and did not want to dominate the conversation with cleanse talk. Also, how could I possibly meet new people in such a fragile state?
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT BOO HOO.
At first, I thought that it was pathetic that I had to avoid social gatherings. I should be able to make a choice and still be around people. But I decided against going out. Staying home alone made things easier. Not to mention, I enjoyed the time with myself.
During this quality time, I took the following notes:
I’m focused, not bloated.
I felt more confident in my decision for a physical/mental reset.
I need to SLOW down. I need to eat slower, drive slower, feel slower, dream slower.
I LOVE FOOD. Let's analyze this, shall we?
My relationship with food:
You know the saying “Eat to live, don’t live to eat.” Well, I live to eat. I always have food on the brain. As I’m eating breakfast, I am thinking about lunch.
Now, I appreciate food. GOOD, real, quality food. I enjoy trying new places and things. I have no allergies and often don’t turn my nose up too much. Every now and again the texture of eel freaks me out, but I’m not opposed to revisiting it depending on the setup.
Okay, I’m getting distracted.
FOOD + Marissa = LOVE
Food has the ability to shape my mood. It can bring me up, provide energy, make me sad, disappoint, make me talk a lot, make me laugh, and it can even make or break my anxiety.
Taking the time to think about these things while cleansing, I’m realizing that I lack awareness. I need to discover how certain foods make me feel, as I have complete and total control to avoid them if need be. I have power. I HAVE SO MUCH POWER. Ima starts usin' it.
I must stop playing the victim like the food chose me. I CHOOSE THE FOOD EVERY TIME.
SELF CONTROL YOU ASK? I GOT IT IN MY POCKET.
I’m an actor, so let’s talk about my dear friend craft service.
“In film, television or video production, craft service refers to the department which provides food service and beverages to the other departments, or crafts. In addition to policing the set, they provide buffet style snacks and drinks.”
Depending on the set this service can be a spread of dreams or a spread of regret and shame.
If anyone is ever looking for me, I can usually be found within two feet of craft service.
Today I spent the day on set. Of course, I couldn’t even glance at the craft service table. JOKES, I mean let’s be real, I immediately scoped it out to see what I was missing out on. I came prepared with my juice, thrilled that it was the last day of cleansing. Today should be a breeze, I thought.
I had high energy and was in great spirits.
While driving home, it felt great that I had stayed so focused all day. Usually on set when I overeat at lunch, I feel tired and it takes me a while to recover. This can affect my performance. I need to show up to set prepared and confident with the fuel that I consume in order to bring my best. If this means altering my crafty choices, then so be it. Cleansing provided me with the awareness that I often feel like a piece of you know what when I eat poorly. I have the power to resist. FOOD SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD.
Now, I made a BIG DEAL about doing this three-day cleanse. I told everyone and their dog, and it was all I talked about. I mean it was all I was thinking about so what else am I going to bring up in conversation?
Would I ever want anyone to feel bad about how much they eat or the way they eat? No. I had to be careful about this.
“Well, well, well, look at you stuffing your face with provided pizza on set. Have you ever tried kale before?”
I would never say this. But, I would inform people of what I am doing and why and perhaps they may feel inspired to try it.
- Today, I am braver than I was yesterday.
- I am less afraid of commitment and change.
- I gained awareness and control.
DAY 4 POST CLEANSE:
COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE. BACON, BACON, BACON. DREAMS, DREAMS, DREAMS.
Now, I am not one to turn down a donut, and I have a hard time escaping them it seems like. But, I regularly eat healthily. However, I walk through life b-l-o-a-t-e-d. The last three days the bloat disappeared. Where did it go, and how can I maintain this wonderful state?
Wish me luck.
-Almost Balanced Foodie
Interested in hitting the reset button and doing a cleanse?
Next time on Almost Balanced Foodie...
It’s 4th of July!!! My BIRTHDAY, bbqs, boats, my BIRTHDAY, babies, beers, bikes, boys, my BIRTHDAY, bronzers, boom boxes. What else starts with ‘b’ that I can add here that doesn’t really go with the theme of my next post? My birthday.
Anyway… I will either discuss the hotdog eating contest that is most likely rigged OR share my list of favorite summertime salads.